Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Someone came in the potted fern
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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