and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
