Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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