hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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