Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
