He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
