He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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