honey bunches of taint.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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