Kiss
Puke
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
