just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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