I bet he comes in French.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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