dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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