There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
MIDGETS
????
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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