He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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