i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i love accidental penises.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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