they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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