So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
