I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
