I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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