I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
