Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
