Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
