she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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