READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
