Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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