just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He felt like a one man threesome
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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