normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
