drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
