I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
