i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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