How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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