I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
