I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I enjoy the company of your penis
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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