The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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