I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
