I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize