question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
