3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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