Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
