I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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