Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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