i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
