she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
