I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
