we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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