My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
