just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
