Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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