I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
even my farts smell like vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
