Can i not drive my cunt home
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
third nipple confirmed
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
