After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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