Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think my moral compass just broke
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
