Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
