Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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