if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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