she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
