its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
