Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize